9/30/2016

A Small Addition (And Big Announcement) | Just Add Ginger


Pregnancy Announcement - Just Add Ginger

This is a very strange feeling. By the time this post has gone live I will have started it hmm.... about seven weeks ago. This one I've been sitting on for a long time and I'm so happy that I can finally, finally, hit the publish button. So, here goes... 

I'M PREGNANT!

Scan picture Just Add Ginger

It feels so good to finally get this out there. Even now, seven weeks ago (hello future me) I feel a little nervous even typing those words. At the time of starting to write this post I am seven weeks and three days pregnant, and truth be told, scared to death! 

We found out we were expecting very early, and, to be quite honest, these weeks haven't been easy. I'm very lucky that in between the time finding out and now I haven't had any morning sickness, but I am on a constant countdown to the twelve week mark in complete fear that something is going to happen. I'm desperate to tel people, desperate to celebrate, to cry, to laugh (in between needing a wee for the hundredth time), and to run out and buy things, but I'm just too nervous to do that right now. Having to wait is torment, but I'm terrified to tell people, just in case I jinx myself. 

But now, at last, I can sit down here and talk about it! The good, the bad and the ugly. You can be sure I'll be sharing it all!

Finding Out: 

I thought something was strange for a little while. I couldn't put my finger on it, but something was just off. Ryan, trying to convince me I was imagining things kept saying "it's just your body going through a change". Unconvinced, feeling increasingly bloated, and after a trip to the baby exhibition in the National History Museum, the day before my period was due I decided to pee on a stick...just to check. The first test was utterly useless, coming up with a totally blue screen and no clear line whatsoever. Test number two however clearly showed an indicative blue cross. Clutching stick in hand, I called Ryan in, and waved it in his face. In typical comedic fashion, and before a big grin appeared, his response was "well, we'd better make you a Drs appointment then!"

Symptoms: 

Up To Week Seven: The most surprising thing about this time is how un-pregnant I feel. I had visions of hitting a certain point and being ridden with morning sickness, but, so far, I've been very, very lucky in that department. It came to a point though in week 7 where I was convinced it was a dream. Despite a period that was clearly not going to appear, it just didn't seem real, and I'm not ashamed to admit that I had to buy another test, just to make sure I wasn't mad (my first ultrasound was just too far away for me to manage!)

However, what I've lacked in nausea I've made up for in indigestion, a nagging worry and unbearable nights of insomnia. The struggle is real with the worry, and it has made me feel a bit anxious. Not just for myself and our little nugget (our name for the baby) but for Ryan, and just life in general. It's stupid, and un-founded, but I just can't help it. Some mornings I just cry and cry and get all hot and bothered. It has been an unshakeable fear - probably linked to my lack of sleep - and its driving me nuts! 

Aside from the sore, growing chest area that irk me from time to time, from the end of week 6 I've also had random bouts of indigestion. With no correlation to the food I'm eating or the time of day I can only guess this is pregnancy related. Oh, and it's true what they say about gas too. If I'm not hiccuping I'm burping, and if I'm not burping....you get the idea!

Weeks 8-10: I've still felt incredibly un-pregnant, but what I did start to notice is how bloated I started to get by week 10. I look about three months pregnant by the end of the day and I just felt huge. I'm completely out of wearing jeans and have practically lived in the same clothes because I felt like everyone would either guess or think that I've been overdoing the cheese and beer! (Thank you Boohoo who totally saved my life in having dresses to hide myself).

We had our first midwife appointment in these few weeks and both Ryan and I love who we have. The support just initially was amazing and I know we both feel so comfortable now having had that first appointment. There were tears from me and a lot of questions to answer but I definitely now feel that my support network is stronger and if there are ever any issues, there will always be people on hand to offer an ear / shoulder / advice.

In these weeks the anxiety got worse. Nearly everyday something was there that totally stressed me out and made me upset. I worried constantly about me, little nugget or Ryan to various degrees and it was incredibly frustrating. The thing that helped was talking to Ryan. When I felt overwhelmed just having him there to listen to me figure out why I'm worrying about the same thing for the fourth day in a row was a godsend.

There were also a great amount of changes happening in these weeks, but, for the sake of maintaining some tones of decorum in this post I won't go in to these. Let's just say it's definitely not been all sunshine and rainbows and if I was an emoji, I would be the embarrassed face!

Baby bump 12 weeks


Weeks 11-14: These have been the hardest weeks imaginable. Where I have been fortunate to not have any morning sickness, the world came tumbling down not once, but twice over these three weeks as I suffered two really scary bleeds. Thinking the worse, I was inconsolable, and Ryan was my absolute rock. Both times we immediately headed down to the EPAU to get checked out, but it was that sense of being so out of control for this little person you want so desperately to protect. As it turns out, I have a secondary sack that seems to have been the cause of the issue, and to our relief, baby has been dancing around in my tummy happily as if without a care in the world.

The week 12 dating scan was such a relief I can tell you. Baby measured right on schedule but absolutely refused to keep still meaning that I have to go in for a blood test next week for one of my screening tests (thanks kiddo)! The other discovery that was made at our latest scan (14 weeks) was that I have an amniotic band. At the moment baby is nowhere near it and moving around freely, but this is something that will need to get checked at 20 weeks. I'm hoping it will disappear by then, but the thought of any potential thing going wrong is really worrying. Even though this pregnancy seems so surreal still, that maternal instinct is really kicking in, and all I want to do is just shield little nugget from any harm.

All of this has kicked off some anxiety again, as I have no way of being able to tell if everything is okay. I can only have faith and rest in between work as much as I can. It is something that is definitely on my list to speak to my midwife about. Being a worrier by nature, this has moved things up a few pegs that's for sure!

At the moment it's really odd to think that in just a few months I'm going to be a mum, but if there's one thing I am sure of, it's that come rain, sleet, snow or sunshine, I love our little nugget to the moon and back.

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