3/07/2019

Why I Left | Just Add Ginger


Before the end of last year I thought that all my erratic vanishing from the blogging world was over. However, that was before we found out some exceptionally big news in the Autumn. 

If you haven't guessed already or seen my announcements on social media then SURPRISE - Ryan and I are expecting again. Our second little precious bundle is baking away and due to arrive in the summer. 

close up of redhead woman standing outside and looking off camera

We had been thinking about when we wanted to try for a second baby for a while and whereas I was so excited for Eric to have a sibling I was also so confused about what it meant for me as a parent. I mean - going from zero to one baby is one thing, but then one to two.... WOW! Add to that my one-handed approach to all things parenting and I would instantly be outnumbered. 

It also came down to the fact that Eric isn't talking yet. Now I'm not putting pressure on him but out of all of his little friends he is a tad behind on uttering those first precious words. They are coming. Just slower than I thought But then what he lacks in speech he makes up for in motor skills and movement. He doesn't ever bloody keep still. A whirlwind of independence and energy he forever keeps me and Ryan on our toes and only really stops when he is sleeping. In terms of toddler, he requires a lot of attention. 

pregnant woman standing outside looking down and cradling her bump

But then one day I think it hit me that no matter what gap there was in between babies there were always going to be obstacles. And I wasn't going to let that hold me back. So come the Autumn Ryan and I knew that we were ready and as before we made no plans to try. We were just going to see what happened. 

Finding out I was pregnant this time round was a whole different kettle of fish. I didn't think I was but then after doing a pregnancy test that made me think I was going insane (you can hear more about that in my YouTube announcement video) I found myself taking another one when I was alone in the house and having a little freak out on the toilet.

It was all very exciting but I needed to take some time out and gather myself. With my previous pregnancy being a bit choppy I wanted to take proper care of myself and approach everything with optimistic caution. I suffered quite badly with feelings of anxiousness after giving birth to Eric (I think everything that happened during the pregnancy caught up with me) and I just didn't want to let that happen again. I needed to practise some self-care.

So that is what I have been doing. I've been taking care of me. There have been lots of naps, extra scans and hospital appointment. There have been lots of tears, cuddles and squeals of delight. And I'm doing so much better than I ever thought I could. 

But now I am back. I'm slowly stepping foot back into the blogosphere and starting to play catch up with myself. I've missed blogging so much - even just sitting don writing this post my fingers have never felt so happy. My mind is buzzing again and creativity is flowing. And it feels amazing.



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