How I Manage Temper Tantrums | Just Add Ginger

As a parent I am no stranger to tantrums. Eric infamously had his first one at 14 months (over a yoghurt of all things) and well....things have only gotten more interesting since. 

If you have watched Eric's 2 Year Update then you'll know that we feel that since he had his birthday Eric has just decided to grow up. And whereas there are some great improvements in some of his areas of development (he seems to be picking up new words every day) hand in hand with that has come a drastic increase in the intensity of his temper tantrums! 

Now I am by no means an expert. In fact, at the moment with my hormones being all over the place I find managing these tantrums pretty difficult. However it is for this reason that I wanted to share some of the things I do to cope when I do find myself in the middle of a temper storm. These are the things that make things a little bit better and - quite frankly - stop me going insane! 

Stay Calm - Yeah I know - easier said than done right? But as much as trying to cope with a tantrum can make you want to tear your hair out it's important to try and look at things from your child's perspective. I saw a quote recently about toddlers trying to manage their feelings and the importance of the adult to remain calm and it just resonated with me. 

So now I just sit or stand in silence and watch. I practise my "up breathing" (thank you hypnobirthing) and try and stay as level headed as possible. Believe me it isn't always easy, but if I start to get stressed I take a step out the room, have a minute to myself and then head back into the fray. 

Don't Punish The Emotion, Challenge The Behaviour - As he grows up I would never want Eric to think that he could not tell me something. So I'm starting early and when his temper strikes I let him feel. He can't verbally communicate with me so tantrums are his way of expressing himself when he gets completely overwhelmed. 

That being said I do intervene of his behaviour is starting to become unacceptable. Whether that is throwing things, hitting, knocking over furniture or gnawing. He isn't the type of toddler to lash out at others in malice (although the gnawing has been aimed at Ryan and I once or twice) and I'm working hard to not let it get to that point. 

And if he's getting really irate, not paying attention to what he is doing and is looking like he might hurt himself I (if I can) put him in his cot so that I know he is safe.

Take A Breath - As exhausting as it is for Eric to have a tantrum it can be for me too and sometime I do struggle to hold it together. And that's okay. Because as parents we can't have it together all the time. So, if I know Eric is safe I do step away for a moment, take a deep breath and then carry on. I don't want him to see that I am not coping - he needs me and I need to be there. But I need to be there for myself too. 

Cry Out Of Sight - Once Eric has calmed down and we have moved on from the tantrum I put a pin in how I feel and come back to it when I'm alone or with Ryan. I vent, I cry and I get everything off my chest. You just can't hold on to things as a parent. It isn't fair to you or your child. So at the end of the day I let go of everything that has made me feel angry or frustrated or sad and I move on, ready to start over again the following day.

5 Helpful Gifts For Mums-To-Be | Just Add Ginger

Let's kick things off with a big fat disclaimer - this post is in no way a passive aggressive means of me gift seeking from friends or family! I was really nervous to write a post like this just in case it was misinterpreted that way. But no, it is simply me sharing my thoughts on gifts I think a fellow mum-to-be would find incredibly useful. 

Baby showers are becoming more and more popular in the UK so if you are attending one soon and want to think a little bit outside the box, here are my thoughts on some great alternatives to the more obvious cutesy clothes, baby toys or keepsakes.

Nappies & Wipes - As a new parent your life pretty much centres around constantly keeping tabs on how many nappies you still have left in the house. The last thing you ever want is to be faced with a baby poo explosion and only then discovering you have just run out of nappies - especially if it's the middle of the night! 

With it coming up to Baby Event season in the shops, boxes of wipes and nappies tend to go on offer. And this is the perfect time to pick up a box or two. Yes okay - it's not as cute as baby clothes or a soft toy but it is a really, really useful gift to get someone that will be greatly appreciated!

 Self Care Supplies - When you've just had a baby your emotions can be all over the place. Your body has gone through a lot, your sleep pattern completely changes and sometimes you don't know whether you want to laugh or cry. It can be tough! 

Throw in the fact that there is a new little life that is totally dependent on you and time for self care is extremely limited. You just don't think about it in the same way anymore. But it is extremely important for both your physical and mental wellbeing. 

Putting together a little parcel of mum's favourite pamper products, ways to wind down or some tasty treats is a great reminder to her to take some time out and relax (even if it's just for a minute or two in the day.) 

Stuck for ideas? Bath or shower products, fancy tea bags or a jar of coffee and some biscuits or something chocolate-y are great additions, as are a candle or incense and some new pjs or fluffy sock. It all depends on what mum enjoys, but having that reminder that she is okay to take off that mummy hat from time to time is something she will really appreciate.

Bigger Baby Clothes - Mum may already have all the clothes she needs for baby's first months, but if you simply cannot resist the call of the cute babygrows and outfits then why not pick up one or two in a slightly bigger size? Babies outgrow clothes at what seems like the speed of light sometimes so having a few bits and bobs all ready to go for when little one moves up a size means mum isn't completely without and feels just that little bit more prepared for the months to come. 

Places that I love to shop for baby clothes and who offer pretty good sizing are Primark (for a true to size fit), H&M (who offer in between sizes compared to other shops), TKMaxx (for gorgeous one off designs) and Next or M&S (who I think do some of the best babygrows - the sizing is on the bigger end of the scale so things tend to last that little bit longer.)

Pre-Made Meals - Enjoy cooking or consider yourself a bit of an amateur chef? Then get yourself some freezable tubs and jump in the kitchen. Because after you've just had a baby eating can easily get pushed down your list of priorities (and sometimes even gets forgotten altogether.)  

Batch cooking and bringing boxes full of frozen food to a baby shower may seem odd but when mum (or dad) are in the delirious state of adjusting to a new routine having something quick and easy to eat that can just be thrown in the microwave will be a godsend. It might be a meal that take them ages to eat and they may end up enjoying it cold, but it is a meal. And it ensures that they are taking care of themselves as well as their little one.

A Helping Hand - When Eric was born, Ryan had three weeks off for paternity leave and if my mum hadn't come up straight afterwards to help me I think I would have been so distraught. Because being a mum to a newborn (especially if you haven't had a baby before) can be one of the loneliest times in your life. Everyone you know is in work, you might not have any mummy friends who are in the same boat and the days are long.

Offering your time or making plans for after the baby is born gives mum something to instantly look forward to. Of course, you need to gauge the timing (taking into account recovery and any paternity / holiday their partner may be taking) but just being there is an invaluable gift. Even if it's popping over for a coffee and letting mum have a shower or offering to take the baby on a walk for 20 minutes while she has a nap! It's a present that is absolutely priceless. 

Especially if you can plan for it to be a regular thing. Once every few weeks, once a month, or as often as you can. In those first couple of months where mum is trying to refine herself and balance life with a new baby, having that reminder that she isn't on her own and does have friends around her who are happy to sit with her, chat to her about anything other than being a mum, or to be a shoulder to cry on...I honestly think that is one of the best gifts you could offer.

5 Reasons Why I Love Toddler Sense | Just Add Ginger

As a full time mummy, knowing what classes are best to take Eric to has been a huge learning curve. He is a toddler who never likes to keep still so finding a class with the perfect balance of free play and time where he needs to sit and focus has been tricky.

I started taking Eric to Baby Sensory when he was four months old and, although at first it was a little difficult (read more about that here), as he grew he started to get so much out of being there. And by the time he was on the cusp of being too old, transitioning him on to Toddler Sense seemed the logical step. 

And now I don't know where we would be without it as part of our routine. It's something we both look forward going to each week and afterwards Eric is absolutely knackered (which is a huge bonus). 

So - if you have a little one of a similar age and you're looking for a new class to go to, here are five reasons why I love Toddler Sense.

1. It's Run With Enthusiasm

I'm not saying other classes aren't, but our class leader at Toddler Sense works her socks off during our session and we're only the first of the day. How she finds so much energy is beyond me. But she puts in 110% every week, interacting and engaging with the children, singing her heart out and leading the activities with vigour. And this enthusiasm is infectious. Before you know it you are sitting there smiling and humming away and having as much - if not more - fun as your toddler. And because all the adults are there having a good time, this rubs off on the children. The atmosphere is infectious and you just can't help but be in a good mood (even if your child is constantly running as far away from you as possible.....I'm looking at you Eric!)

2. It's Okay If Your Child Doesn't Join In 

So let's talk about that. You know how I mentioned that Eric doesn't keep still? Well at Toddler Sense that's okay. Because he's surrounded by children of a similar age doing exactly the same. It's expected. And the room is set up in such a way that it is pretty much safe no matter where they run. You find yourself catching the eye of the parent next to you and stifling a laugh as if to say 'here we go again'. 

The set up of the space we are in at our class also means that even if Eric does run away and has no interest in going back to the main activity, there's plenty of room for us to do our own thing not to far away. Whether that's watching, dancing, or more likely me stopping him from trying to rearrange the furniture. There's no judgement and no embarrassment. And ultimately, the session is so interactive that they absorb everything irregardless of what they are doing.

3. It's Different Each Week 

This isn't your average soft play session ... oh no! Every week we have been to Toddler Sense it has been a different theme, with a slightly different room configuration, different toys and equipment and different directed activities. You step into the room each week not knowing just what to expect and it's a feast for your senses. Your toddler never gets bored by seeing the same things and there are naturally going to be weeks that appeal more to them depending on their interests. 

4. It Tires Eric Out 

A slightly selfish point but I don't care. Eric needs his naps and taking him to Toddler Sense each week is an absolute guarantee that he will get one. He's running around so much and so engaged with everything that afterwards he is just zonked. It'a brilliant. He usually nods off in the car and I gently carry him upstairs when we get home where he carries on sleeping for at least another hour, meaning I get to have a hot coffee and a sit down in peace without being dragged around the house. 

NB: I've clearly just jinxed myself by making this point, so I'll get back to you with if this is all still true! 

5. Toddlers Learns Through Play 

You may just think this is all about playing but it really isn't. Eric learns so much from going to Toddler Sense. From how to interact with other children to independence, understanding his own limits, listening, tidying up, and even getting involved in a bit of risky play. It also lets toddlers direct play for themselves and because everything is open I'm not frantically following after Eric wondering where he's gone. I leave him to it and stay a step or two behind so that I'm there for him to interact with should he want to.

Do you and your little one go to a Toddler Sense class? Let me know what you think of them and leave me a comment below.

Images: c/o Toddler Sense North Liverpool