I'm well and truly into the third trimester of my pregnancy, and hand on heart I can honestly say this journey has been an absolute learning curve. With ups and downs, funny and not so funny moments, here are some of the truths I've learned about being pregnant (with a witty and lighthearted spin of course)!
. CRAVINGS!! When you have them, you need that food... TWO MINUTES AGO!
. The most random things will make you cry.
(Things I've cried about include: Instagram, Donald Trump, a fox being on the John Lewis advert, because I miss our new house....)
. Leggings become your BFF.
. Pregnancy brain is really a thing.
Seriously, if you want help remembering something, DO NOT ask me!
. You have never felt the kind of love you feel for your maternity pillow.
. Feeling baby kicks are so cute....until he finds your bladder and uses it as a trampoline at 3am, then 4.30am, then 5am.....
. There are moments when you realise just how unprepared you are for becoming a parent.
(I tried to put a onesie on a baby doll we have and suffocated it for 10 seconds!)
. Your boobs seem to grow at least 70 cup sizes overnight.
. You quickly realise that you can finally get away with farting loudly in public.
. When you are hungry, it's just best for people to not be around you.
. Small things become the biggest achievement....like putting on your own socks!
. The constipation is so real, that when you do have a poo, it's a cause for celebration.
. Late night online shopping for handbags gets replaced for looking up the best deals on breast pumps and baby wipes.
. There's no better excuse to not shave your legs....
. ...Until you go for a scan and insist on apologising for not shaving your legs.
(and other places!)
. When you watch OBEM, you spend most of it either hiding behind a cushion or laughing at the reaction of everyone in the delivery room. Even though you know you'll look just as over the top.
. The thought of protecting this little tiny person in your belly is at the same time empowering, and utterly terrifying!
. The first time you see your baby on an ultrasound scan, there's a chance you don't have the foggiest what it is you're looking at, but you'll still nod along and agree with whatever bit the sonographer is showing you like you know exactly what you're doing.
. .... You may still feel like this at your 20 week scan! It's not just you. They do look like aliens!
. You plan your daily activities around where the toilets are. Because even though you've already been, you'll need it again in five minutes.